Apparently it had chafed against the edge of the masonry and the little fellow perceiving my plight had been doing his utmost to warn me. Other than a polarizing ending, fans absolutely adore sitcom/drama/romance (Netflix classifies it as many things) How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) for its hilarious adventures and surprisingly engaging drama. He was a wonderful ratt and life without him is knot worth living. Given that to a small child. Barney, the purple dinosaur from television’s Barney & Friends, has been on the air since 1992, hosting a show which uses song and dance to teach preschool tots in … Barney was his big romantic rival when it comes to Robin so every seemingly notorious Barney flaw is just a fib, an exaggerated lie so the kids think it's okay for Ted to date a woman who isn't just his own And Barney's ex but his EX WIFE! Barney not only secretly records women, but actively lies about it if questioned—like when one of his hook-ups asked if the camera's green light meant it was on (duh), which he denied. It's just a sitcom! Other rumors about the purple dinosaur include: Edel, Raymond. He was trying to give them to children on the show. That, and the abandonment of his precious guinea pigs. Spoilers ahead. Yes, Virginia, there is a sanity clause. (Damn it, kid, go watch some TV). Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on April 30, 2018: There are many issues with your arguments, beginning with your numerous errors ("It's mater revealed he dies") and extending to your claims that using makeup is akin to stealing someone's identity. Yes, Virginia, there is a sanity clause. This material may not be reproduced without permission. Anything else is a serious crime. September 11th Poor Barney is dead an soon I shell be the same. (The same has been whispered about. I have replenished the batteries in my flashlight and am now prepared for the final descent. Fandom Apps Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Robin bedded Barney and everyone claims it's his fault. I have written a variety of other parodies, including the kung-fu biography of Mankind's savior, FISTS OF GOD, a ghost-story entitled THE OLD WOMAN AND HER VISITOR, the surreal prophecy LAST MEAL OF THE APOCALYPSE, and one of my more serious works, NOVEMBER 22nd. Object: to increase the intelligence of a very special rat. Here's a quick list of his most inappropriate actions: Barney never successfully woos Lily, so we overlook these instances as light-hearted shenanigans, but really stop and think about how you'd feel if your best friend tried to sleep with your spouse. That's definitely not how I'd want my friends to show support for me after a breakup; Robin herself (the woman who married Barney) admits that she has doubts about him because even his "good" actions revolve around deception (like his proposal to her). My kids don't care much for dolls or toys coming to life, because it's kind of scary when you really consider it. Despite their creepy reputation, vampire bats are highly social creatures. Still, behind the high fives, jokes, and suits lies a shattered person who spreads more misery than joy throughout the world he inhabits. 22 May 1998. Well, most are played for laughs, and Barney does some genuinely nice things throughout the show, but only for his friends—he terribly mistreats the women he comes across. But despite Barney's close friendship with both Marshall and Lily, he constantly flirts with and makes lewd comments towards her (which she doesn't enjoy). Also, at least Barney changed for Robin, Ted was a sick creep who couldn't let go of Robin after 15 years even though the entire show hinted that they were not meant to be. When we ignore the laugh track and actually examine Barney's deceitful behavior, we soon realize he's exactly the type of guy you don't want your daughter to encounter. Heck, even best friend Marshall has a horrible vision of Barney pursuing Marshall's hypothetical daughter in her teenage years. September 2nd I am taking a calmer view of the Tayloe affair. Besides that, Ted's morality is a topic for another day. No one said I hate Barney. There is … In 1998 at a post office in Texas, a drug-sniffing dog detected two pounds of cocaine hidden inside a talking Barney doll which was being shipped to Waltham, Minnesota. Why do you need my name? So about the recordings? Also a popular theory : Ted is the unreliable dickbag telling the story to get permission fro his kids to bone Robin again. He takes a woman to a campsite out in the woods, steals her truck, and leaves her as a bear attacks. Two common rumors about Barney (police uncovered a cache of illegal drugs secreted in the rotund dinosaur’s tail, or the endlessly loving and patient children’s host roundly cussed out a hapless tyke) strike at the heart of Barney’s appeal to the smaller set. This site last updated November 14, 1999. The kids that I baby-sit were sitting around the table today saying that Barney, the purple dinosaur from Barney and Friends was busted with cocaine in his tail. They were more his speed, I’m afraid. Oh also, he didn't dress up to examine Lily naked he did that to make Marshall play laser tag with him. Wrong. We learn this is a fabrication, as both the girl and Marshall like each other, but Barney (too obsessed with having a threesome) deceives both parties and splits them up. Let's stay updated! nside this realm of darkness squats a leering and corpulent purple lizard, who hides in the shadows plotting and scheming. Several people I know were saying that the actor who played Barney on the children’s TV show “Barney and Friends” was fired because he swore at a young boy who stepped on his tail. He conducts experiments to increase the intelligence of a rat called Barney. Voting is currently disabled, data maintenance in progress. In order to facilitate my descent into the well I knotted a length of three-quarter-inch rope at one foot intervals to make a rude ladder. Strikes Two and ThreePlus, (in the same episode) Barney does the exact same thing when Marshall falters with the next girl. Help preserve this vital resource. (Clip from: Rock with Barney (1999) and Audio from: A Day in the Park with Barney) Barney Scary Stories (1999 Version) | Barney&Friends Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia FANDOM Children’s TV host Barney the purple dinosaur was caught with cocaine hidden in his tail and cussed out a child. Barney&Friends Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. The specific origin of this rumor is unknown, but James Lileks of the Minneapolis Star Tribune wrote in 2006 that “the existence of the Barney Swear Tape is a first-grade urban legend.”. Snopes and the logo are registered service marks of Question: Have you seen the entire series? Ted is not a decent person on December 13, 2017: Ted is a creep. He finds pleasure in paying Lily (who was struggling for funds alongside Marshall) to paint him naked. RICHARD SPECK’S KILLING SPREE. September 10th I have had a rather shaking experience, and once more in a minor clash with Barney I have come off second best. After all, Robin is one of very few women Barney respects and (mostly) treats as a person, not a sexual release. "What's the creepiest real story you've ever heard? September 8th For the past two days I have had to keep Barney confined and how he hates it. Anything else is a serious crime. Tayloe’s defense was of the flimsiest. We know him as Barney. ‘Barney’ Was Based on a 1930s Serial Killer A rumor that the children's TV show 'Barney & Friends' was based on a 1930s serial killer is just a bit of fiction. I can only ascribe his violent antagonism toward Barney to jealousy. Fortunately, although the well is over forty feet deep, there are only a few feet of water in the bottom, so the retrieving of the key does not present an insurmountable obstacle. The distant singing of children summons Him, and from deep inside a craggy chamber of moss and decay, It rises and laughs, eager to greet yet another era of conquest and soul-stealing. I mentioned earlier, as if you don't already know, that Barney is a … HAPPY (or scary - depends on your taste) READING! "That is a great question, and it's kind of weird that no one has ever actually asked any part of it. Perhaps I should fix myself a sandwich as I may be down there longer than seems likely at the moment. He disguises himself as a doctor, attempting to examine Lily naked in a checkup. Do what I say and don’t come back or disturb anything after you bring the young ratts like I said. Barney Is Always Watching. He was an earnest and willing worker, but something of a clod, poor fellow. Sure, this a minor character who never returns, but Barney did the one thing a wingman should never do—steal the person his friend is interested in. Plus, we're supposed to idolize Barney. Place: a desolate island. Of course, sex tapes are completely legal—if both parties consent. Barney & Friends: The Complete First Season (Tape 2), Barney & Friends: The Complete Eighth Season (Tape 3), 100 Sing Along Songs with Barney Volume 1, 100 Sing Along Songs with Barney Volume 2, 100 Sing Along Songs with Barney Volume 3,, Barney & Kids: 'Cause it's kinda fun getting scared When you know it's not for real Surrounded by your friends Nothing will get you, but you feel that tingly feel You feel that tingly feel. I have now replaced that section of rope and arranged some old sacking beneath it to prevent a recurrence of the accident. ), hidden depths (dude has daddy issues), and charm. Comments can be sent care of: Also, ever wonder how he conveniently had what he most wanted (kids) and then Robin, because Robin couldn't have them? Nonetheless, Barney has sex with with Ted's ex Robin (after she went through a bad breakup and was emotionally vulnerable—of course), an action that creates a large rift Ted and Barney. Do you have your own short story? I reached the bottom easily enough, but after only a few minutes of groping for the key, my flashlight gave out and I returned to the surface. And now that he has gone, how much happier Barney appears to be! Barney murdered a child and was jailed for his crime. The kids’ grandmother and their mother’s boyfriend were charged with possession and intent to distribute cocaine, and the youngsters were taken into the care of the state’s Department of Children, Youth and Families. That I cannot condone. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. And “Steve” of TV’s Blue’s Clues was said to have died of a heroin overdose, a clear indication that, contrary to his squeaky-clean on-camera image, he’d been deeply into illegal drugs. Back fence gossip asserted the genial Mr. Rogers was a convicted child molester or had served in the armed forces as a sniper and thus had dispatched many to their graves. Ridiculous as it may sound there is still the possibility that he might be able to communicate his intelligence to others of his kind. This is my laste will. Then, if Future Ted's goal was to discredit Barney, he'd leave out the several semi-redeeming moments that Barney has throughout the series, which he most certainly didn't do. Below is a series of satirical horror stories I’ve written over the years about Barney the Dinosaur, that address the troubling question, "What if that dopey dinosaur is really a hell-spawned demon out to destroy us?" Had the actor inside the Barney suit actually cut loose with a stream of expletives during a taping of the show, his outburst would never have reached his adoring viewing audience at home. Some valuable papers are in separate compartments inside the vault. Sure, Barney's actions regarding stealing Marshall's date turn out to be more well-intentioned than we originally believed, but they're still far from ideal because they essentially force a decision on Marshall--to get back with Lilly or be single indefinitely. Chief among Barney's crimes is videotaping his several one-night stands at his apartment. These remarks don't stop upon Marshall and Lily's marriage, and Barney makes no secret of the fact that he'd bed Lily if possible. Barney frequently asserts he's Ted's best friend, but finds it acceptable to view his mother as a sexual object. Scary Stories is an original Barney song that first appeared in "A Camping We Will Go!". Barney hitting on Lily may seem over the line but is commonplace banter and the painting was nothing sex related he was literally paying an artist and he did not sue them for stealing his money when she gave him "The Ken Doll" and refused to paint his junk if you paid attention.

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